Philip Sharp
Thanks, Dad!
One thing I must posit with some degree of ebullience is how important it is to have a rad parent or sibling if one's going to choose the path of a hungry young academic kook like myself.
Two days ago I had contacted my father, letting him know that there's a chance $600 rent and $600 tuition to the University of Iceland may post at the same time -- leaving me, for lack of a better descriptor, screwed. So, I asked if he wouldn't mind letting me borrow some money to serve as a cushion -- and, then, when I sort out this week's little paycheck fiasco and finally get doublepaid next week, I could hit him back.
He agreed! And look at the sweet e-mail.
Now, I need to ground this in a little bit (EDIT: a lot!) of context for a moment.
My family background hasn't always been so broke (though it was never lovely, either). I grew up in a cute 3-bedroom house on the outskirts of Modesto, California. Dad commuted every day to Sunnyvale (!!) to work as a systems analyst. He never made six figures, but he made decent money. My mother, though, never finished high school, and my older brother had already moved out (which, I'm sure, paying for his wedding and whatnot caused my father a bit of headache).
Anyway, I never went hungry, but it's not like I got every new toy I wanted our toured Europe. I did my homework, mom cleaned the house, and Dad brought home the bacon (not the caviar).
My mother died just as I was finishing up my senior year of high school. Her aorta collapsed while I was pulling an all-nighter on a math project. I was a full-vested International Baccalaureate diploma candidate with the International Baccalaureate exams only a month away. Somehow, after hearing she had died, I just went back to work. I think I freaked out around 3am and went to school the very next day (albeit with an unfinished project).
So, pardon the sob story, but you can imagine where this is going. Final expenses eat into what had been a modest college fund. My father remarries, almost immediately, a crazy woman (whom he's since, thank God, divorced) who is driving my college education in the form of a brand new Toyota Avalon. She sued him for his pension (i.e. my tuition money) during the divorce. I believe their marriage was one year and change -- and she gets 75% of his retirement? The woman doesn't even work. Zero. Nothing.
Rather than kill her and get my education back, I slashed myself up with anything sharp I could find and took up smoking. A lot. Thanks, Jean.
I still kicked the shit out of the IB exams, though. And I did pretty goddamn well at the University of California, San Diego, too.
Anyway. The whole point of this whole soapbox diatribe is that my father is about as pecuniarily pwn3d as I am. He doesn't see much of his retirement thanks to the dumb lady he married/divorced after my mother's passing. He makes $8/hour sweeping up a mini-storage, since in the computer science world he's not as attractive as some spoiled new college graduate who Xangas and listens to Of Montreal.
Financial aid told me he should be able to afford tuition (what do they know?). They also told me that since my mother didn't work, her death "didn't matter" as she didn't contribute any income. Oh! In fact, she's DEAD, so that's one less dependent in the household!
*zen*
OK, I need to roundup this rant with some semblance of a circumspect cadenza. So, even though my father could never afford to spoil me, pay for college, or any of those things... he's a wonderful father. (Note that one's finances shouldn't even be a criterion for parental ratings.)
I know he needs the money he just pumped into my account (hopefully he's defaulting on a fucking alimony payment), but he's often willing to put himself into a bad spot to help dig me out of one. I love the man to pieces. Hopefully I can hurry up and pay him back.
Thank you, Dad!
Two days ago I had contacted my father, letting him know that there's a chance $600 rent and $600 tuition to the University of Iceland may post at the same time -- leaving me, for lack of a better descriptor, screwed. So, I asked if he wouldn't mind letting me borrow some money to serve as a cushion -- and, then, when I sort out this week's little paycheck fiasco and finally get doublepaid next week, I could hit him back.
He agreed! And look at the sweet e-mail.
Aww -- my Dad's a winner!
Now, I need to ground this in a little bit (EDIT: a lot!) of context for a moment.
My family background hasn't always been so broke (though it was never lovely, either). I grew up in a cute 3-bedroom house on the outskirts of Modesto, California. Dad commuted every day to Sunnyvale (!!) to work as a systems analyst. He never made six figures, but he made decent money. My mother, though, never finished high school, and my older brother had already moved out (which, I'm sure, paying for his wedding and whatnot caused my father a bit of headache).
Anyway, I never went hungry, but it's not like I got every new toy I wanted our toured Europe. I did my homework, mom cleaned the house, and Dad brought home the bacon (not the caviar).
My mother died just as I was finishing up my senior year of high school. Her aorta collapsed while I was pulling an all-nighter on a math project. I was a full-vested International Baccalaureate diploma candidate with the International Baccalaureate exams only a month away. Somehow, after hearing she had died, I just went back to work. I think I freaked out around 3am and went to school the very next day (albeit with an unfinished project).
So, pardon the sob story, but you can imagine where this is going. Final expenses eat into what had been a modest college fund. My father remarries, almost immediately, a crazy woman (whom he's since, thank God, divorced) who is driving my college education in the form of a brand new Toyota Avalon. She sued him for his pension (i.e. my tuition money) during the divorce. I believe their marriage was one year and change -- and she gets 75% of his retirement? The woman doesn't even work. Zero. Nothing.
Rather than kill her and get my education back, I slashed myself up with anything sharp I could find and took up smoking. A lot. Thanks, Jean.
I still kicked the shit out of the IB exams, though. And I did pretty goddamn well at the University of California, San Diego, too.
Anyway. The whole point of this whole soapbox diatribe is that my father is about as pecuniarily pwn3d as I am. He doesn't see much of his retirement thanks to the dumb lady he married/divorced after my mother's passing. He makes $8/hour sweeping up a mini-storage, since in the computer science world he's not as attractive as some spoiled new college graduate who Xangas and listens to Of Montreal.
Financial aid told me he should be able to afford tuition (what do they know?). They also told me that since my mother didn't work, her death "didn't matter" as she didn't contribute any income. Oh! In fact, she's DEAD, so that's one less dependent in the household!
*zen*
OK, I need to roundup this rant with some semblance of a circumspect cadenza. So, even though my father could never afford to spoil me, pay for college, or any of those things... he's a wonderful father. (Note that one's finances shouldn't even be a criterion for parental ratings.)
I know he needs the money he just pumped into my account (hopefully he's defaulting on a fucking alimony payment), but he's often willing to put himself into a bad spot to help dig me out of one. I love the man to pieces. Hopefully I can hurry up and pay him back.
Thank you, Dad!
This Post is as good as Blogging gets.
If people want to know how to Blog? They ought to read this Post.
What astounds me most in the Blogging world? The best Posts get overlooked.
One of the things I most like about this Post is that it's about the beauty and self-sacrifical nature of true fatherhood.
So often men are portrayed as the bastards in every failed relationship (And the courts have taken a stance that is so iniquitous and so unjust. In many instances the woman only has to fabricate a story, and they'll believe her).
I won't go on about this. I'll get too angry about my own ex. And too sad for other men I've heard stories about. And end up offering to kill Jean for nothing.
I'd rather focus on the fact that it's refreshing to see a Post where fatherhood is praised.
David ...
ICONOCLASTEROID
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I must admit I was worried for a backlash at having had fallen back on the ol' self-pity routine. Apologies to all for that.
However, the point wasn't really the $600 or the fact that I've endured some serious junk in my short life (who hasn't?), but that my father, despite having lived through all these same tribulations with me, deserves some credit.
One reason for having this blog is that I want to prove that there is some beauty in being broke.
People who try to make me feel guilty for having some self-pity at times? I can't stand them. They're not human. They have no self-knowledge. And I never want to see or hear from them again, until they humanise themselves, and come to the realisation that a day will come in their lives when they will cry out for some mercy and pity and compassion, and realise just how arrogant and proud they've been all their lives ...
I read this post as an honest post by someone just putting down some details of his own life as it stands at the moment ...
I don't wallow in self-pity, but at the same time, I don't pretend I don't need a bit of compassion now and again from other human beings, not some bullshit shoved down my throat by some wanker pretending he/she's a philosopher when all he/she's interested in is making money and preying on the weak ...
The day someone convinces me that calling upon our parents when we need them is wrong? Come and shoot me ...
The day when someone tells me I can't be honest on my Blog and write about the simple little things of ordinary daily life? Come and dig up my corpse and mutilate it.
This was a great Post.
David ...
ICONOCLASTEROID
Tokenspark: Super Capsule Tokyo Blast!!!
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I do feel for your dad, I hate to see people underpaid, no matter how humble the work.
It's great to see a son who loves his dad and says so, sorry about your mum, and sounds like your dad got taken, later.
Smile, my son, the sun'll come out, to-morrer, from l'il Orphan Annie, it's not that I can't spell, that's how the song came out.
Let's hope the sun comes out for you, I think you deserve it.
Luv, katyzzz
ICONOCLASTEROID
Tokenspark: Super Capsule Tokyo Blast!!!
Clearly Broke
You know, I need to write a post to prove that I'm looking to do something compelling and ballsy with this blog, and not fishing for pity. (Though I suppose when the pity is as eloquent and kind as yours, who could refuse?
Thank you!
Travel Mezze
And, btw, financial aid is f-ing retarded.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
It`s always good to hear 'people' stories... they are the best kind... and when they are so real like yours here... well that`s even better.
I am sorry to hear about your mom and the step-witch... thank goodness she is out of your dad`s life.
I can TOTALLY understand the whole being broke thing... but hey... c'est la vie! Sounds like you are having an adventure anyways which is more important says i
ash
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i just don't get people. i'm sorry taht she took your tuition. NOT FAIR!!!
Tammy
ICONOCLASTEROID
Tokenspark: Super Capsule Tokyo Blast!!!
Clearly Broke